You managed to scare yourself shitless over this.

You were happy just two days ago, in fact, ecstatic. If he's drinking again, you know he's in the same boat. A needle in the hay. He had a girl once. An ex. But he couldn't remember her [initials/initiall].

Chicago is about restaurants and hipsters. At least it will be.

Like most two-day trips out of town to your neighbor's backyard.

Finding out what stars do when you're not worried about mortality and the love of a lost soul. It all seems about as important as learning where that cap from my pen just went. Worth the effort, only because of a borne-in instinct. Drilled in with the finger of the oppressed.

Tell them with your pretty new thighs that you always knew what a great person they were. If only they had been able to look past the tall foolish blondes.

I'm tired. Drained of all defenses.

All I have is the love of a combatant tyrant who carries out his innocuous frustrations in the backseat of his later life.

To live in the moment you would have to find pleasure in the damnedest of situations. I don't know if I'm ready to live up to such a unique privilege. I left all these thoughts behind, only a couple float around in my renewed jealous and mostly dependent psyche.

A jealousy borne of the insecurities of unrequited love and the desire for "that which you cannot have."

Is that what is meant by the "escargo of love." Well...I've never heard of that either. On cold days, you can hear such things being whispered in the doorways of old street-facing cellars. The FRENCH have a word for this, probably.

Feel free to use whatever you want to use. You can't take comfort in the things you possess anyway, which is why you often slink into the room feeling quite empty-handed.

Have you ever considered the trenches in your face? Deep beneath your skin and rooted in your characteristic gestures? Well, I have. And it's ugly.

Often imagining the deep voice of a lonely spinster, I repeat its timbre. The loneliness shoots up and down my throat in a series of threateningly-ill vibrations. Finding a slightly enamored crowd waiting on my arm.

I keep thinking. Think a relationship alive which never should have existed. Only it does because of a warm desperation. The kind that lets you believe whatever you want for as long as you want.